Ruminations and recipes from a small kitchen in a big city.

16.9.08

Money Market Turmoil and What it Means: A Sub-Primer.

1. Nobody knows what will happen.

2. Nobody knew two years ago, some just thought they did.

3. Nobody knew six months ago, some just thought they did.

4. Nobody knows today, some just think they do.

5. But they're no longer sure.

6. Nobody knows where money comes from.

7. Nobody knows where it goes.

8. Most importantly, nobody knows the murky places it visits along the way.

9. Because there are some places money is not supposed to go.

10. Because of this, a year ago fringe brokers were on the nose.

11. The banks loved it.

12. Because it made the banks look good.

13. And the brokers had to raise their rates.

14. Bad brokers! said the banks. Borrow from us instead!

15. But banks are not good and never were and never will be.

16. Also, banks are not clever.

17. Because they had fingers in exactly the same pies as the brokers.

18. Some they didn’t even know about.

19. But the banks soon found out.

20. And then they had to raise rates.

21. In the glare of publicity.

22. And banks hate publicity.

23. Except their own.

24. Which nobody buys (Determined to be different? Climb every mountain? You've got to be kidding. Bring back the elephant piggy-bank. At least you could use it.)

25. This week, squeaky-clean Members Equity bank advertised in a somewhat-desperate sounding full-page open letter in the national press that they had an S&P rating! So everything was fine!

26. They just didn’t say what it was.

27. Not that triple AAA means anything any more.

28. Plus, don't they realise that running full-page ads protesting their financial health makes people think exactly the opposite? Think psychology, bank marketers!

29. New sign seen in bank: Please Do Not Ask For Credit as Refusal May Offend.

30. They borrowed it from the corner store.

2 comments:

neil said...

You'd think that anyone who lost a trillion or two and disrupted some of the world's major economies, might find themselves in jail, but of course, no one will go, bankers will just say that's how free markets operate. If that's true, there should be legislation to make bankers more accountable, especially seeing as they use our money, not just for business, but to pay themselves hefty salaries and huge bonuses. Who gets a bonus for just doing their job?

kitchen hand said...

Indeed, Neil. While Glen Wheatley gets to wear shackles for losing $300k.