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Showing posts from September, 2015

The old guesthouse.

Somehow we ended up in Cootamundra. I never plan, I just drive and arrive somewhere towards the end of the day. You often discover places you never knew. I had known Cootamundra, of course, having been based there years ago when I was working for a research firm. I had to visit farms around the district and interview farmers. It was slow work. It is a very hospitable area and some days I ate several morning teas and two lunches. This time we drove in before five and I stopped outside the tourist information office. It was about to close. What have you got, I asked the lady. What have you got, she countered. A wife and three children, I replied. Try the Elm and Wren , she said. They'll like it. Here, we'll get them on the phone. They’re very accommodating in the country. Wouldn't happen in the city. They'd throw a brochure at you. Half an hour later. The Elm and Wren was a 1940s red brick two-storey commercial building. They were usually built as banks, with en

Sophie's dinner: #1 in a series of vignettes from the advertising industry, where Kitchen Hand has worked for many years.

THE SCENE: A GRAND DINING ROOM IN ONE OF MELBOURNE'S OLDEST SUBURBS, WHERE OLD MONEY LIVES AND RARELY VENTURES AFIELD, EXCEPT TO THE BOARDROOMS OF COLLINS STREET AND THE SNOWFIELDS OF FALLS CREEK AND THE SOFT BLUE WATERS OF PORTSEA FRONT BEACH. SOPHIE, TWENTY-ONE AND IN HER FIRST YEAR IN ADVERTISING, IS HAVING DINNER WITH HER MOTHER. SOPHIE (PLAYING WITH HER SALMON MOUSSELINE WITH A CITRUS JUS AND SMUDGE OF TRUFFLE OIL): Mummy, we had a trip to the seaside today. MUMMY (TOORAK DAME, ALL JEWELLERY AND TANNED SKIN): Darling! Was it fun? Where did you go? Torquay? Blairgowrie? Brighton Beach? SOPHIE (SIPPING A 2012 MORNINGTON PENINSULA PINOT GRIGIO, JUST SLIGHTLY CHILLED, IN A CRYSTAL WINEGLASS THAT IS SLIGHTLY TOO LARGE): Frankston. MUMMY (WITH AN AUDIBLE INTAKE OF BREATH): You mean ... you actually went to Frankston? Or you just had a wayside stop on your way to Red Hill or Shoreham or Merricks? SOPHIE (ANOTHER TINY SIP OF GRIGIO, PULLS A SLIGHT FACE, IT'S VERY ACID):

He should have given it to Richie Benaud or Alan Border.

Instead, he stupidly gave it to Prince Philip . Janet Albrechtsen : Abbott's knighting of Prince Philip wasn't a big deal - but it was one heck of a weird decision at a time when Abbott was hardly riding high. Once you do something that weird, it sticks. 'Helga Rolfe' should be out the door too. That was too weird as well, a marathon-running, bike-riding Rhodes scholar being shepherded around, like a child by a kindergarten teacher.

Finding answers to those nagging questions made easy.

When was Kraft cheese (the one that lasted indefinitely) invented? In what decade were the Wizz Fizz, the Choc Wedge and Nescafe launched onto an unsuspecting Australian market? Remember Copha? (It's still around.) When was its name trademarked? When was Australian beer first available in cans? And when did CUB re-release Victorian Bitter in its original packaging artwork? Is Camp Pie Australian? (Or would you want it to be?) When did the iconic 1960s soft drink Passiona enter the market? What was Courage Draught, what was its logo character, and why did it fail? When were Tim Tams invented? Finding answers to these fascinating questions could absorb a lot of time. Fortunately, Jan O'Connell has done the research and placed the results into an Australian food timeline. Visit it here .

Walk to the shops, says 'community wellbeing expert'.

Monday's Moreland Leader reports : Coles is looking to increase parking spaces at its Coburg North Village after a flood of visitors in its first month overwhelmed existing facilities. Coles spokeswoman Martine Alpins said customer numbers exceeded expectations. "We plan to increase the number of parking spaces in the coming weeks to ensure customers continue to have a great shopping experience ... " And are able actually to take their shopping home. Unfortunately, some bureaucrats believe that shops would sell more goods if customers did not drive to the shops . How would they get their purchases home? Teleportation? Sydney Road traders would experience an increase in ... spending in their stores if on-street parking was removed, a community wellbeing expert says. Dr Hannah Badland, a McCaughey VicHealth Centre senior research fellow, said research had shown limiting car parking resulted in people staying longer in shopping strips and making more purchases. A chasm the

Great instrumental breaks in history. #1: one of Alan Parson's projects.

A sultry late-summer night in 1977, close to midnight. I dozed in my chair by the open window waiting for the cool change; book cast to one side. The radio in the corner was low, as if playing to itself. Then the beginnings of a welcome breeze stole in the window. A song came on the radio. 1977 had been the era of disco, and lyrics that could be well described as having been typed, not written. But this was different. On a morning from a Bogart movie In a country where they turn back time You go strolling through the crowd like Peter Lorre Contemplating a crime I sat up, listened. She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running Like a watercolor in the rain Don't bother asking for explanations She'll just tell you that she came In the year of the cat Then the break, led out by cellos and crying violins dripping teardrop-shaped notes, parrying together for a few bars, like lovers parting. Then a searing slide guitar note splits them like a hot knife through b