What I cooked last night.

My father, his life upturned and then flipped upright again like a fibreglass canoe, rode the passing years silently, serially taking on hobbies. Freelance photographer, gem collector and polisher, horse race predictor, painter in oils, student of quasi-religious phenomena, candle-maker.  Some of his photographs still exist in an old corrugated box that I found beneath a shelf when I was clearing the outhouse he built as a darkroom in the forgiving late 1960s. A grimacing baseball hitter at Ross Straw Field, mid-strike bat caught forever in the horizontal, stands in black and white infinity, his body curling with the chemical-spattered photographic proof paper. A rider, red-coated and tall in the saddle, wafts a grey across a fence, towards camera, at an Ascot Vale equestrian event, the horse’s eyelashed protuberant eyes frozen in time as if from some medieval painting. A familiar sedan is parked outside a store, ‘pies, sandwiches, cigarettes,’ on a main road steeply shadowed by br...

They extended the house because of more children, and kicked me into the new room. It faced east and was built over the front lawn. I imagined the grass turning brown and dying slowly beneath me while I slept.  On those incendiary summer mornings, the sun, one thing in life you could depend on, would hoist itself above the cream brick house across the street, and smash like a ripe peach into my dark green blind, its fragments making pin-holes of light in the canvas, and throwing blurred circles like hot dancing snowflakes onto the opposite wall.  I would jerk the blind up, drowning the pin-hole light show in a solid cube of dazzling white. Across the road, the cream brick house always looked like a square crouching animal, silhouetted until midday beneath its eave ears.  The new bedroom absorbed the original front door. Now I used it as an exit, which I used at night with unscathed dignity - instead of clambering, novel-style, out of the sash window - on my way to an...

Everything is -'friendly'. Eco-friendly. User-friendly. Reader-friendly.  Objects, concepts. What happened to human-friendly?  Vegan-friendly , trumpeted the package, which contained wheat germ. Long-term readers might or might not recall that I have had something of an ongoing  semi- obsession with the over-earnest, ungrammatical, or sheer moronic label claims that plague manufactured food products. Clearly, either the general population - the consumers of these goods and their verbal assaults - or the marketing industry - their illiterate authors - has become stupider. Or both. Probably both. Irony aside, what madness is it that the consumer needs a printed assurance that a bag containing 100% ex-vegetation has no animal content? Or that its processing has not knowingly been associated with members of the animal kingdom throughout its journey from grassland to four-colour-process-overprinted crude oil-based plastic packaging? Which, in any case, means what? A process w...