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'Shut up or you're off to the pet shop.'

What a household:

Simon, about 30, has a turn of phrase to make polite visitors blanch. "He's upset a few people here," Mrs Gordon says.

The young are so coarse these days.

... the eldest of the flock, Winston, 99, likes a cup of tea.

I'm sure she needs it with Simon walking around cursing all day.

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