Early one morning, I went into a Safeway supermarket. The regular - small - punnet of strawberries was $4.98.
Then I went to the high street fruit market. The double punnet - 500g - was $2.99. The strawberries were better, smaller, fresher.
I went into Coles. The 50g pack of pine nuts was $2.99, or $59.90 a kilogram. The toasted ones, 50g, were $3.79. That's $16 a kilo just to toast them, on top of your $59.90. Dried apricots, about $45 a kilogram.
I went into the nut shop in the mall. The pine nuts were $24.99 a kilogram - toast them yourself for free - the apricots $23.99.
I went into Safeway again. A pack of flat bread was $1.79 - on special.
I went to the deli. The flat bread - A1 Bakery brand - was 99 cents. It was fresher.
I went back to Coles. The truss tomatoes were $6.99; the Granny Smith apples $5.99 and the the capsicums (green) $4.99.
Back to the fruit market, where the respective prices were $3.99, $2.99 and $2.99. And better quality.
It took me all morning.
Mr Rudd has just announced a government inquiry into supermarket prices to assist his favourite demographic, 'working families' (what, even the children work?).
I think I've just done it, Mr Rudd.
And your inquiry will probably take all year.
So why don't you just send me $250,000 and I'll send you my results.
The hell with $250,000. Send me a million and I'll throw in a powerpoint presentation complete with pictures of ripe fruit and people scratching their heads in supermarkets and pointing at apples and lots of text and big figures all in different font types and sizes, just like your bureaucrats would do.
I'll still be saving you money. After all, you promised to cut government spending, didn't you?