The playlist.

The fill-in announcer on RRR just now (The Cave, formerly the Skullcave) was discussing his relationship with disco, which was fractious.  Apart from some early tentative crossover hits, disco eventually veered far from its soul-funk roots and descended into a musical hellhole from which it never recovered, leading to desperate attempts at new musical directions, such as the robotic new romantics using drum machines and synthesisers instead of  'instruments'. 

One year in the mid-1970s disco collided with Christmas, resulting in a disco-fied Joy To the World strung out into a zombie-like metronomic medley with everything from Silent Night to White Christmas. It was the era of prawn cocktails, avocado vinaigrette, vol au vents and Coolabah moselle at the table; with guests wearing flared suits and six-inch ties - so the whole shooting match had a kind of balanced bad taste flavour about it.

Disco passed but some of the world’s worst music continues to be reserved especially for those too-few hours spent with family and friends over Christmas Day lunch. Music is subjective, of course, but having your ears assaulted by Wham while eating roast turkey with cranberry sauce might in many eyes justify sabotaging the sound system by simply excusing yourself from the table, looking for the mains supply and flicking the switch. So what if it brings down the lights, the stove, the heating - or air conditioning - and everything else powered? At least you won’t have to listen to Last Christmas for the seventeen thousandth time in your life. But then even reputable singers get overplayed at this time of year. I never want to hear Jose Feliciano's Feliz Navidad again. Ever.

This year there were a few pleasant surprises. We heard, amongst others:

Carol of the Bells: Orion's Reign produces a heavy metal medieval-style voluntary in the manner of Jeremiah Clark, with bagpipes and flutes all backed by that expectancy-inducing metal shuffle. Bring on the main course. 

The River: Joni Mitchell's arresting voice carries the song that is not really about Christmas, making it the perfect Yuletide song.

Must Be Christmas Night: The Band explore the mystery of the three kings, the star and the manger, a riff on We Three Kings, possibly the most mysterious of Christmas carols. 

Walking In a Winter Wonderland: Nick Lowe and Los Straitjackets give this absurd (at least in the southern hemisphere) track the rockabilly treatment with some superlative guitar picking.

Silent Night: Tom Waits makes the carol purists sit up and spit out their plum pudding in shock. A truly astounding performance by the master raconteur vocalist. Yes, I'm serious, Aunt Penelope. And don't call me ....

Pretty Paper: Roy Orbison belongs on every playlist ever written so this sad ditty goes in perfectly here. Watch the tears fall as the champagne hits the maudlin nerve.

2000 Miles: Pretenders' lyrical haunting guitar-drenched anthem, one of the most yearningly evocative of the modern Christmas songs.

Fairy Tale of New York: Pogues. Slotted in somewhere not too close to Tom Waits.

Run Rudolph Run: Chuck Berry turns a nonsense song into rock'n roll gold. 

Joy To the World: The Allman Brothers. Yes, the Allman Brothers. (The Watts tune, not the Three Dog Night one.) Tacked onto the end of You Don't Love Me live at Fillmore 1971. Guitar gold. Isaac Watts would approve. Or not.

Merry Christmas Everybody: Slade. The English pre-glam outfit knew how to have fun with a song - which is why they were the biggest live act in Britain at one time. 

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Happy new year to my readers.