There is an astrological concept known as the seven year cycle, probably the figment of someone’s imagination, like most irrational things are - if you’ll pardon the cynicism - in which some very odd unexplained things may happen amid a whirlwind of change and uncertainty.
Last week some research was reported on (see below) in the newspapers (which for the benefit of younger readers are - or were - physical pieces of paper on which was printed ‘content’, produced by people known as ‘reporters’ or - in the case of the more self-absorbed - ‘journalists’).
Newspapers still exist: online. If that statement strikes you as an impossibility you are, strictly speaking, correct: publishers continue to entitle their digital reportage a ‘newspaper’ as long it it is gathered beneath one ‘masthead’. Odd, really.
Nevertheless an item appeared last week describing the research mentioned above. Some academics at a ‘university’ in some polluted regional city in the north of England (where possibly the evil smoking slag heaps still even to this day emit their foul toxins that hover over the low brown council houses inhabited by the underclasses) conducted experiments in which they isolated a number adults, some wearing nose clips, in closed rooms in which burned candles.
The results were dire.
“What I want people to take from it is to be wary of what you’re doing in the home that could be affecting your wellbeing,” ‘Dr’ Faherty said. (Why do I keep parenthesising everything if not to point out my utter incredulity that such parenthesised words should be taken at face value?)
‘Dr’ Faherty went on:
“Blowing candles out on a birthday cake is something we do quite often, but just make sure you’re ventilating the space. … Reducing your personal exposure to air pollution is easier than you think.”
‘Dr’ Faherty then outlined the frightful consequences, were his sage advice not be taken:
“When you think about children being exposed, that’s lower educational attainment, which then has economic impacts, … and there’s an astounding healthcare cost associated with dementia and neurodegenerative diseases.”
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Back to that seven year cycle: about that number of years ago, a research paper was published and widely reported on a similar birthday theme, the conclusion of which was that blowing out candles may present a danger in that harmful bacteria could land on the surface of the cake.
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My conclusion is that every seven years some humans temporarily revert to the intelligence level of a carrot.
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